


Vanity

by sweaterwearinlesbian



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Arrogance, Drowning, Fucked Up Love, I don't mean to romanticize suicide in anyway, Light kills himself, M/M, Pills, Suicide, blue hates Light, but he's so easy to write, but probably triggering, not as graphic as it could be, romanticish language, self-hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-29 01:48:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12620412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweaterwearinlesbian/pseuds/sweaterwearinlesbian
Summary: With L gone, what does Light have to live for?





	Vanity

**Author's Note:**

> updated for formatting things: 5/1/18

When Light looks into the mirror he doesn’t like what he sees. He never has. It doesn’t matter anymore though. L is dead. What kind of god doesn’t have his own satan? What kind of person lives as an empty shell? Not Light, that’s for damn sure.

He stares at the bottle of pills on the counter and smiles, drawing a bath. Misa is out doing something for her career. Chances are she won’t be back in time to save him. The bath is warm and Light adds lavender oil to make it silky: he wants to go out in style, his vain self not wanting to be seen as weak even in his suicide. His note is already written and secured in a plastic baggie by the tub. He has a call scheduled to go out to the task force and 911 in an hour. He can relish this time then.

Light strips and steps into the bath, steam curling around his back and staining the pill bottle with its steam. Light doesn’t quite remember what he put in the bottle: a mix of painkillers and melatonin he’s pretty sure. He lays there quietly and thinks. 'Soon I will see him again. Soon I can tell him all I didn’t say, that he was right, that I love him…' Light’s smile grows wider and he almost laughs as he downs the first six pills. His fingernails are painted a soft pink, Misa’s doing. She deserves so much better than me. He had burned her death note the moment she left. His notebook is with his note in the bag. Ryuk is with Misa, Light had asked him to watch over her tonight. 

Light slips under the water after his thirtieth pill, feeling numb and tingly, but he knows his body will start rejecting them soon, in a vain effort to stay alive. It’s funny how the mind wants one thing but the body another. Light opens his mouth and lets the water fill his lungs, his body being unable to panic in its sedated state. His eyes open and there’s a pale hand extending to him. Light takes it, and he feels his heart stop. Finally, he is at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I stated in the tags, this does not encourage or attempt to romanticize suicide in any way. It's supposed to be dreamy, in the way that someone who has accepted their destructive decisions would feel before acting upon them. Light here has already planned out this whole thing, so it's like his swan song, his final goodbye to himself. He loves L without realizing that he does until he says it himself. I wanted to write something sad and pretty before I finished the next chapter in Hard Times. Thank you for reading thus far!


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